Instant Messaging Fails!
by Mimi246
Summary: The CSI's have just got an instant messaging service, but then they learn about the horrible power of autocorrect. Sorry summary sucks, please read and review, now with statuses
1. Chapter 1

Hi everyone! This is an idea that has been in my head for some time now, I got the ideas from this really cool website. Not sure if it will just be a one shot, but if enough people like it I will continue, enjoy!

* * *

_**Lindsay224 is online**_

_**THE MESSER is online **_

_**THE MESSER has messaged Lindsay224**_

THE MESSER- hay babe! How are you?

Lindsay224- Good, Mac's just been dishing out paper work to me since I can't work on the field…

THE MESSER- speaking of which

THE MESSER- how is the morning sickness?

Lindsay224- Not bad, I can't believe we are having a baby!

THE MESSER- I'm leaving you

Lindsay224- WHAT!

Lindsay224- !

THE MESSER- Wait! No no no! I meant to say I'm leaving now! To come home! The computer auto corrected it!

THE MESSER- Lindsay?

THE MESSER- Why won't you answer you cell?

THE MESSER-…..

* * *

_**HawkesALMIGHTY is online**_

_**BigBossMac21 is online **_

_**HawkesALMIGHTY has messaged BigBossMac21**_

HawkesALMIGHTY- how does sex sound for tomorrow?

HawkesALMIGHTY- OMG six Six SIX!

HawkesALMIGHTY-…

HawkesALMIGHTY- I just want to make it clear, I do not want to have sex with you…

HawkesALMIGHTY- Um, so how does six sound tomorrow to come and have a look at the autopsied body…

HawkesALMIGHTY- Awkward…

* * *

_**LucyM^.^ is online **_

_**Lindsay224 is online **_

_**LucyM^.^ has messaged Lindsay224**_

LucyM^.^- Hey mom, are you still at work?

Lindsay224- Sorry swettie, I'm going to be stuck here for awhile

LucyM^.^- Ok, when will dad be home?

Lindsay224- Probably in about ½ an hour, there is food in the fridge and I will c u when I get home

Lindsay224- Mommy loves you my swimmy limber baby feast

LucyM^.^- Ummm what mom?

Lindsay224- MY SWEET LITTLE BABY! Ah, sorry auto correct!

LucyM^.^- Um, right back at you?

* * *

_**Stellaxxx is online**_

_**ForensicFlack445 is online**_

_**ForensicFlack445 has messaged Stellaxxx**_

ForensicFlack445- Did mac leave mallot

ForensicFlack445- Do slacks weave maggots

FoensicFlack445- AHHHHHH

ForensicFlack445- Did cat save racket!

Stellaxxx- What are u on about? :0

ForensicFlack445- DID MAC LEAVE HIS JACKET!

Stellaxxx- wow, that took awhile to get out

ForensicFlack445- I hate auto correct….

* * *

_**ForensicFlack445 is online**_

_**The Messer is online **_

_**HawkesALMIGHTY is online **_

_**The Messer has messaged ForensicFlack445 and HawkesALMIGHTY**_

The Messer- Hey guys, are you all good for the rangers game tomorrow night

HawkesALMIGHTY- Yup, definitely!

ForensicFlack445- Oh yes!

The Messer- I was thinking that maybe

The Messer- We could paint our feces in team colours for the game!

The Messer- Hello?

HawkesALMIGHTY- Um, Danny you might want to read over what you just said..

The Messer- Ah Crap! Autocorrect!

ForensicFlack445- Ok, I for one am not painting my poo team colors, you're on your own for that one Messer….

The Messer- You guys better not copy and paste that and send it to anyone!

HawkesALMIGHTY- copy….

ForensicFlack445- paste…

HawkesALMIGHTY, ForensicFlack445- SEND!

The Messer- You guys better learn to sleep with one eye open….

* * *

Ok, it was a bit short, but I hope you enjoyed it! Review if you want me to continue!


	2. Chapter 2

Here is another installment of Auto correct fails! I thought this time I would add statuses to some of them! Enjoy!

* * *

**ONLINE**

_**Lindsay224**_says: I'm' cle'a] m'e ke]yb29oa;rd

_**THE MESSER**_ says: I'm wondering why Lucy's diaper holds nowhere near the 22-37 pounds it promises….

_**HawkesALMIGHTY **_says: My imaginary friend thinks that you have serious problems.

_**Adam_rules12**_ says: Be nice to nerds, one day you will work for us!

_**Stellaxxx**_ says: I felt like getting some work done... so I'm is sitting down until the feeling passes.

**OFLINE**

_**ForensicFlack445**_

_**BigBossMac21**_

* * *

_**THE MESSER is online**_

_**ForensicFlack445 is online **_

_**HawkesALMIGHTY is online **_

_**The Messer has messaged ForensicFlack445 and HawkesALMIGHTY**_

THE MESSER- Sup

ForensicFlack445- um... hey?

HawkesALMIGHTY- hey Danny

THE MESSER- So Hawkes how did the date go last night bro?

ForensicFlack445- did you score ;)

HawkesALMIGHTY- Not quite. We went out for dinner then went for a walk through central park

THE MESSER- aww, cute!

HawkesALMIGHTY- then I killed her in the park outside her house and left

ForensicFlack445- WHAT!

THE MESSER- Hawkes, I've heard of bad dates, but man, you top the list!

HawkesALMIGHTY- KISSED….. wtf

ForensicFlack445- right…..

* * *

_**Stellaxxx is online **_

_**BigBossMac21 is online **_

_**Stellaxxx has messaged BigBossMac21**_

Stellaxxx- hey!

BigBossMac21- hey Stella, how far away r u?

Stellaxxx- Will be there soon. WHOOOO its Friday! Screw the gym! I'm getting pregnant tonight!

BigBossMac21- um, shouldn't we talk about that first?

Stellaxxx- OMG nooooo

Stellaxxx- I wrote pringles (you know the chips!) and it autocorrected it to pregnant!

BigBossMac21- Don't scare me like that!

* * *

_**ForensicFlack445 is online **_

_**Adam_rules12 is online**_

_**Adam_rules12 has messaged ForensicFlack445 **_

Adam_rules12- OMG! AHHHHHHH

ForensicFlack445- what?

Adam_rules12- I'm hiding from Mac right now. Literally hiding. I feel like I'm going to have a pancake attack.

Adam_rules12- Panic stupid spellcheck

ForensicFlack445- I was way more scared when you said pancake attack.

* * *

_**Lindsay224 is online**_

_**THE MESSER is online **_

_**Lindsay224 has messaged THE MESSER**_

Lindsay224- I've got to tell you something

Lindsay224- Are you sitting down?

THE MESSER- I am… why?

Lindsay224- LUCY WAS ADOPTED!

THE MESSER- What? What are you talking about?

THE MESSER- Why are you telling me this over instant messages? Call me!

Lindsay224- Oh this annoying autocorrect. I meant to say she got accepted! To that leader camp!

THE MESSER- I hate you

Lindsay224- You love me ;)

* * *

_**Stellaxxx is online **_

_**Lindsay224 is online **_

_**Stellaxxx has messaged Lindsay224**_

Stellaxxx- Hey Lindsay, how r u, still got the flu?

Lindsay224- Yeah, think I might be of work for a few more days

Stellaxxx- All good, hope you feel better soon!

Stellaxxx- Just about to watch Potatoes of the Caribbean!

Lindsay224- Potatoes?

Stellaxxx- Damn, Pirates! Hahaha

Lindsay224- feeling better already !

* * *

Hehehe, hope you enjoyed !


	3. Chapter 3

**Having another go at this one!**

* * *

**ONLINE**

_**Adam_rules12 **_says: I ran with scissors, and lived!

_**THE MESSER **_says: Adam, you are the kind of person who would try and drown a fish….

_**ForensicFlack445 **_says: You have the right to remain silent, anything you say will be misquoted then used against you

_**Linday224 **_says: Mothers of teens know why some animals eat their young

**OFLINE**

_**BigBossMac21**_

_**FallenAngel**_

_**HawkesALMIGHTY **_

_**LucyM^.^-**_

_**Stellaxxx**_

* * *

_**Lindsay224 is online**_

_**THE MESSER is online **_

_**Lindsay224 has messaged THE MESSER**_

Lindsay224- Hey baby!

THE MESSER- Hey, what are you so excited about?

Lindsay224- Well I have some really exciting news!

THE MESSER- ?

Lindsay224- We are going to DIVORCE next month! YAY!

THE MESSER- Lindsay you better be joking… did I do something wrong?  
Lindsay224- How can you not be happy Danny? I finally got it all booked, with a bit of help from Stella.

THE MESSER- Stella knew about the divorce! WTF?

Lindsay224- Divorce? Oh crap! I wrote Disney! It was an autocorrect! We are going to Disney land for Lucy's b-day next month!

THE MESSER- I nearly had a heart attack…

* * *

_**FallenAngel is online**_

_**ForensicFlack445 is online**_

_**BigBossMac21 is online**_

_**ForensicFlack445 has messaged BigBossMac21**_

ForensicFlack445- Mac, I finished those files for ya and finally closed that case file.

BigBossMac21- Good work Don, I guess since it is nearly the end of your shift you r going home now?

FallenAngel- Na, he is with me, sitting in the break room : )

BigBossMac21- Really?

ForensicFlack445- Yeah, I finnished like a half hour ago

FallenAngel- So we decided to make some babies in the break room!

FallenAngel- Want any? We have a ton of spares?

BigBossMac21- …. No… Gross…

ForensicFlack445- JESS! Read over what you just wrote!

FallenAngel- ! BROWNIE! I meant to say brownie!

FallenAngel- Flack and I were making BROWNIE in the break room!

BigBossMac21- Someone needs to turn off autocorrect.

* * *

_**HawkesAMIGHTY is online**_

_**Stellaxxx is online**_

_**Stellaxxx has messaged HawkesALMIGHTY **_

Stellaxxx- Yuck, it is soooo cold today

HawkesALMIGHTY- Yeah I know, lucky you are not one the field today, I am freezing!

Stellaxxx- *shivers* I am wearing lettuce under my sweatpants, and I am still cold!

HawkesALMIGHTY- Yeah, lettuce doesn't tend to keep people that warm. Really Stella?

Stellaxxx- LEGGINGS! LEGGINGS. LEGGINGS!

HawkesALMIGHTY- better ;)

* * *

_**BigBossMac21 is online**_

_**Lindsay224 is online **_

_**Lindsay224 has messaged BigBossMac21 **_

Lindsay224- Hey Mac, I ran those fingerprints and got a hit to a John Mcgee, Flacks cheeking him now

BigBossMac21- Nice wok

BigBossMac21- Uh, I meant nice rack!

BigBossMac21- AH! No, that was autocorrect Lindsay! I meant nice WORK!

Lindsay224- Wow Mac, you and computers do not mix well.

* * *

_**THE MESSER is online**_

_**Adam_rules12 is online**_

_**Stellaxxx is online**_

_**The MESSER has messaged Adam_rules12**_

THE MESSER- Yo, Adam

Adam_rules12- Hey Danny!

THE MESSER- So, I heard you got a new girlfriend Mr Ross :)

Stellaxxx- Adam, you got a girlfriend? That is so sweet!

Stellaxxx- How did you meet her?

Adam_rules12- oh I've known her forever

Adam_rules12- She is my cousin

THE MESSER- Adam. No, that is desperate..

Adam_rules12- HOLY CRAP!

Adam_rules- AUTO CORRECT, she is my COWORKER!

Stellaxx- sorry we asked Adam ;)

* * *

**Review! **


	4. Chapter 4

**Here we go again! ( beware, for younger readers, some um, iffy words used.)**

* * *

**Online**

_**LucyM^.^ says: **_Teaching your own mother how to use Facebook is like willingly signing your own death warrant.

_**HawkesALMIGHTY says: **_Statistically 5/4 of people have trouble with fractions

_**FallenAngel says: **_I used up all my sick days, so I called in dead.

_**BigBossMac21 says: **_I like you, when I rule the world, your death will be quick and painless.

_**Stellaxxx says**__**: **_I know the world isn't going 2 end in 2012 cuz my yogurt expires in 2013!

**Offline **

_**Linday224**_

_**THE MESSER**_

_**Adam_rules12**_

_**ForensicFlack445**_

_**Sid_is_dead**_

* * *

_**Lindsay224 is online**_

_**THE MESSER is online **_

_**Lindsay224 has messaged THE MESSER**_

Lindsay224- Hey! Hows work going, sorry u had to go in on a Monday :(

THE MESSER- Uh. Awful, I have a bad case of the manboobs…

THE MESSER- OMG WTF NO!

THE MESSER- I have a bad case of the MONDAYS! Not manboobs. UHHHH!

Linday224- HAHAHAHA, im forwarding that to Stella! :D :D

* * *

_**HawkesALMIGHTY is online **_

_**Adam_rules12 is online **_

_**HawkesALMIGHTY has messaged Adam_rules12**_

HawkesALMIGHTY- Sup dude, do you have the results from the vics tox screen?

Adam_rules12- Yup, it came out clean, so Sid's ruling the death as natural causes.

HawkesALMIGHTY- SWEET! Im out then : )

Adam_rules12- UH….

HawkesALMIGHTY- what goes on Adam?

Adam_rules12- uh, stupid really.

Adam_rules12- I got into a fight with Lindsay-

HawkesALMIGHTY- why?

Adam_rules12- I needed to borrow a penis, and she wouldn't let me borrow hers…

HawkesALMIGHTY- WHAT adam? I am deeply confused…..

Adam_rules12- UH! God damn auto correct!

Adam_rules12- PEN! PEN! PEN! PEN!

* * *

_**BigBossMac21 is online **_

_**Stellaxxx is online **_

_**Stellaxxx has messaged BigBossMac21 **_

Stellaxxx- OMG Mac look out your office window!

Stellaxxx- It looks like Flack is arresting someone outside!

BigBossMac21- Wow, it looks serious, the guys in cuffs, and I can see Flack reading the guy his Banana Rights

Stellaxxx- HIS BANANA RIGHTS? OMG I AM DYING!

Stellaxx- HAHAHA, you have the right to a banana, if you can't afford one, one will be provided :D

BigBossMac21- haha.. oops

* * *

_**FallenAngel is online **_

_**ForensicFlack445 is online **_

_**ForensicFlack445 has messaged FallenAngel**_

ForensicFlack445- I miss you :( :( *sniff*

FallenAngel- Don't worry I'll be home soon!

FallenAngel- I just have to finish this case in Miami, then i'll be on the next flight home : )

ForensicFlack445- YAY! :D

ForensicFlack445- don't think I am weird, but I have been sleeping with that shit you left in the bathroom :)

FallenAngel- WTF Don?

ForensicFlack445- yeah, it smells like you and it makes me feel better when you are not here!

FallenAngel- if you are trying to be cute, it is definitely not working.

ForensicFlack445- OMG OMG OMG NOOOOOOOO

ForensicFlack445- SHIRT, I SLEEP WITH THE SHIRT!

ForensicFlack445- I just going to go kill myself now…

* * *

_**HawkesALMIGHTY is online **_

_**Sid_is_dead is online**_

_**HawkesALMIGHTY has messaged Sid_is_dead**_

HawkesALMIGHTY- hey Sid… uh guess what

Sid_is_dead- do I want to know?

HawkesALMIGHTY- we couldn't find anything in the vics stomach contents, which means COD lies somewhere else, we need you to check the body again.

Sid_is_dead- UH! No way, I checked the body twice :( not again!

HawkesALMIGHTY- I wish you would just breastfeed me! I double checked the results!

Sid_is_dead- um… what Sheldon?

HawkesALMIGHTY- what?

HawkesALMIGHTY- CRAP! BELIEVE ME!

HawkesALMIGHTY- um, yeah, not breast feed, belive…

Sid_is_dead- awkward silence…

* * *

**Hope you liked it, review!**


End file.
